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The always mystical and mysterious Bigfoot is out to make his presence known and claim his territory. No longer hidden under the veil of forestry, the beast is on a blood thirsty rampage right in the heart of peaceful suburbia! A local reporter is on the scene following victim after bloody victim. The cool calm of middle class living has been ravaged by the savage beast and the police seem to be hiding something. Who can stop this terror and who will survive the brutality of SUBURBAN SASQUATCH!?

In its own right this is not a good movie.

Most of the actors are obviously amateurs. Although I will say that, of all the directors' moms that I have seen roped into performing in their sons' no-budget movies, Loretta Wascavage might be the best actress of the lot.

The plot makes little sense. At least ten people have been killed and there has been no public outcry whatsoever. The only person who even seems to care is Rick, a whiny reporter who evidently works for the high school yearbook, judging by the unprofessional demeanor of his editor and the football team practicing outside the office window. Also, I'm still not clear on why the Sasquatch followed Sheriff John all the way to Pennsylvania. And am I to understand that the Sasquatch is raping those women before he tears them to pieces? Or while he tears them to pieces? Yikes! (Incidentally, this hypothesis is somewhat supported by the fact that, in one scene at least, the Sasquatch appeared to have a hairy penis, but Barbara May thought it was a tail. I can only hope that she's right.)

The characters are often confusing and contradictory. For instance, Sheriff John seems to exercise autocratic control over the entire town, which evidently gives him the right to suppress evidence and enter private residences at will. The only exception to John's iron rule is his own deputy, Steve. John is for some reason unable to prevent Steve from alerting the media (such as it is) about every tiny event in the Sasquatch case, which John is expressly attempting to keep under wraps.

Even the costumes, which ought to be fairly easy to pull off successfully, are goofy. The police wear city cop hats with park ranger shirts (minus any insignia) while Talla, our fierce Indian warrior/mystic gads about the woods in kicky miniskirts from The Gap.

And then there are the special effects. The special effects could not be less convincing if they tried. At one point, the Sasquatch rips off a man's CG leg, then beats him over the head with a plastic severed leg, which I presume was purchased at Spirit Halloween Superstore. All the while, the Sasquatch's unfortunate victim clearly has both legs firmly attached to his body. At another point the Sasquatch, rather than mauling his intended victim, appears to have taped rubber intestines to the poor man's shirt. But the best is that whenever Talla actually manages to hit the Sasquatch with one of her mystical bejeweled arrows (She has to be the worst archer in the known universe. It really doesn't speak well of her tribe that she's their champion hunter and yet she's a much worse archer than some random idiot who works for the local paper. I think she's even a worse archer than I am!) the Sasquatch emits a veritable fountain of computer generated blood, which bears no relation to the motion of the Sasquatch and little relation to the point at which the arrow ostensibly made contact with the Sasquatch's body. The blood is also completely matte and monochromatic, bearing no traces of light or shadow or hint of moisture. In one case, it's closer to Pepto-Bismol pink than to blood red.

But for all its faults, or perhaps because all of these faults work so brilliantly together, Suburban Sasquatch is totally, hilariously awesome.

For the first time (at least the first time that I've seen) someone has managed to find the true B-movie sensibility in CG. So many movies, at all budget levels, use CG so badly. From Beyond the Wall of Sleep, which slaps an incongruous CG monster onto the end of a perfectly good, classically atmospheric movie, to Van Helsing, which is replete with unnecessary and poorly integrated CG atrocities, horror movies have yet to really figure out how to use CG.

Until now.

Too many movies seem to think that CG is a good, easy way to achieve realistic effects. Those movies are wrong. CG is an extremely difficult, time-consuming way to achieve realistic effects, but, as Suburban Sasquatch ably demonstrates, CG can be a wonderful way to achieve silly, cheesy effects, as long as those effects match the tone of the rest of your movie.

The CG effects in Suburban Sasquatch are ridiculous and funny and endearing in exactly the same way that taping carpet remnants to dogs and calling them monsters was funny in The Killer Shrews, but updated to keep pace with new technology. Finally cheap, crappy horror movie effects for a new millennium!

And what's even more important, the CG effects in Suburban Sasquatch are ridiculous and funny in exactly the same way that the non-CG effects in Suburban Sasquatch are ridiculous and funny, so that the whole movie is flawlessly integrated in its sublime awfulness. This is the movie that I've been waiting for all these years to finally acknowledge the true brilliant potential that CG holds for no-budget indie horror!

This is a beautiful moment in the evolution of the crappy horror movie! Let's all savor it together, shall we? - www.theyrecoming.com Review

Produced: 2004

Director: Dave Wascavage

Cast: TROY STEPHEN SANDERS, MARY WASCAVAGE, DAVE WELDON, WES MILLER

Genre: Horror

Running Time: 97 Min

Rating: NR

DVD Features:
•Interactive Menus
•Full Screen Presentation
•Photo Reel
•Scene Selection
•Producer's View
•Making of Featurette
•Creating the Sasquatch